I’ve never appeared on a “Best of List.” I’ve never been asked to include any of my short stories in a collection with other more talented writers. I do often check the New York Times Bestseller List. I have, however, never been shocked to see that my name and my book were not included.

It should be noted that all of my writings are to be approached with caution. The quality of said writing may in fact be quite dubious. My mother once described one of my short stories as “okay.” My father, still upset with me for quitting basketball in high school, has described my stories as, “very similar to things I’ve read before. But I’ve read a lot of books, so that’s just me.”

My wife diligently reads everything I writes and is kind in her many notes. My daughter, who is four as of the time of this bio’s writing, has yet to read any of my work. Although she is known to say, “Daddy, please tell me a story.” I will then make up a story on the spot. My daughter almost always likes them and asks for more. But she’s four, so what does she know.

(P.S. Don’t be fooled by this bio, I don’t write comedy. So figure that out.)